All of us have that voice in our head - the voice that tells us what to do and makes a direct link with our emotions and "gut feeling," thereby causing us to feel the need to obey it and do what is right. Therefore, it is the voice that tells us what is right and what is wrong. Many people call this God's voice - and I agree that it just may be. However, there are some earthly links to the spoken voice and the subsequently evoked emotion (the "do what is right" emotion, or the "I am right" emotion). One of those links is with other voices - the expressed and passed-down beliefs, values, and ideals of our earthly father and mother.
Sometimes when we approach God, we'll hear our parents talking instead. The core feelings toward what is right and what is wrong will be directly linked to what your parents - your mentors, teachers, and authoritative peers - had taught you was right and wrong. They had the aura of authority, and expressed the emotion of confidence and the "this is the right thing to do" feeling to you whenever they gave you a command, drilling their ideals into your head.
Now, I acknowledge that, because of this, parents are indispensable tools - they are the symbols translated from God's authoritative side into what we as human beings can perceive and understand as "authority." Thus, they are to be in many ways representations of the Father.
However, parents aren't always perfect. They've got impurity issues and many of them have fallen prey to the system of this world. Most parents, specifically of those who have raised children in a Christian household, have more than likely drilled in beliefs to their children that have subconscious roots in fear. "Stay close to God," my parents told me, "and stay far away from this world." The effect of them was yes, always reading their Bible and praying, being good and ethically righteous people; but there was also to the contrary another consequence, a sinister and more harmful one associated with the dogma of "keeping yourself pure and away from the sinful world."
And it was this: inaction. They never *did* anything. Well, I mean they worked as most parents should - go out and get a living, work around the house - but as Christians successfully reaching out to the lost, not too much.
The reason for this is because they believed a theology where God was always wanting their attention, much as a possessive boyfriend would want the heart of his girlfriend to be wholly transfixed on him and no one or nothing else. They believed that all you need to do in life is spend time with God - the rest of the world and other people in life were rather unimportant and "unholy" in comparison. They believed that you need to spend time with God, yet this God that they got closer and closer to was more and more distant from the world. Which is why they were always so confident and feeling like they were "doing the right thing" when they weren't talking to or avoiding "unbelievers," or talking to them (or rather *about* them behind their backs) in a very self-righteous and condescending manner.
So should that mean that we *not* spend time with God? No, that's not what I'm saying at all. But there should definitely be some discernment as to what God you're getting closer to, and how much of just one side of him you are indulging. Specifically, I'm talking about the authoritative side.
There are many sides of God - he is loving, he is smart, he is socially hip, he is trendy. All the "good" that you have ever known and will ever discover: he is all of those things, *combined.* So, if you're just focusing on his authoritative and confident side - that's a very dangerous trap you should avoid as it is very self-sustaining. Here's why.
You feel like it's the right thing to do to spend time with God, and soon you'll start to focus on his authoritative side. When you see his authoritative side, whatever have been taught from birth will more than likely surface into your head and make an associative link with God. In many cases, what we've been taught is actually harmful on a visceral level (as I have just described). But since you feel it's from God (you're hearing his voice when you're spending time with him, remember?), you'll feel like your running away from him if you at least attempt to question and explore the possible harms of these core feelings, if not reject them or change them. So, instead,you stay close to God, indulging more in his authoritative side. And the more you indulge, the more you believe you are doing the right thing - so you indulge more and more, until you become so hardened and so self-confident in believing that God is telling you to do these harmful things learned from birth that you'll start to ignore everything else around you, labelling all those things as manifestations of "Satan."
Monday, June 6, 2011
Voice of Authority (II)
So am I saying snuff your intuition and quench what you might deem the Holy Spirit? Not at all. But I must say that the Holy Spirit definitely isn't self-righteous: he leads to the expression of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control - you know, all the fruits of the Spirit.
Self-righteousness isn't one of those gifts.
Then does that mean when I spend time with God I should always doubt myself? Not at all either. Since the authoritative side of God is, in fact, a part of God, you shouldn't ignore it. What I'm saying is, you shouldn't *indulge* in it, as you'll get a very narrow picture of who God is, and you won't affect the people around you in a very positive way (more than likely). So here's what I suggest - alternate between these two "modes" when interacting with God: inquiring (i.e., introspection, questioning, rationalizing, reshaping your beliefs and views of God, etc) and believing (i.e., attaching God's command to an authoritative and self-righteous emotion, loving, feeling his love, knowing, being self-confident, etc). There is a different time for everything, as it states in the Bible. And I believe that there is a time to question and search for truth as much as there is a time to believe and feel like you should do the right thing.Going back and forth between these two modes will give you a healthy, balanced perspective of the world - and you'll definitely be much more effective when interacting with others.
Effects are what indicate roots. Fruits are what indicate the type of tree. In the Bible, it says that by your fruits you shall know them. Well, let me examine myself - just what *are* my fruits? The effects of my beliefs? Well, I know for one thing - especially lately - the effect that I've been having on the world has been close to zero (well, at least to my knowledge), or very far away from a huge chunk of what the Holy Spirit is really all about. It has been something much more sinister, and I believe that it has been because I've been indulging in God's authoritative side without giving time to experience his other qualities.
Just last night I discovered this.
Before last night, I've been spending brief periods of time talking to God. I mean, I've been listening to his smart and intellectual side speaking to me for quite a long time, but when it comes to me talking to him, conversations are usually short (albeit definitely not rare). But, over the past couple of days, I've been becoming increasingly more and more "fluent" with God, speaking to him more and more freely on a long term basis. And I must say, it has created quite a difference in my heart - a lot of positive changes have resulted and I am so excited!
However, last night I decided to do this longer than ever - maybe a little longer than I should have. And what ended up happening is me viewing the world as a place extremely saturated with Satan and his minions (which is true, but not the point as you shall see shortly). Somebody joked around with me about something that night, and I felt like he had a lot of darkness in his life and subsequently I got upset and angry - feeling hurt in the meantime. In addition, all the people I saw everyday mostly became very demonic in my eyes, and it appeared as if they were extremely far away from God.
When I got back to my room after taking the walk, I was thinking, "God, I just want to spend time with you and no one else." After that, everything else in the world became unimportant, including my previous hopes and dreams. I no longer wanted to do anything - work on my projects, write, etc. - but just talk with God and follow the thread of commands uttered from his mouth. I remember going outside to the alcove of my floor, and hearing "God" say to me, "Get up from your seat and move that chair by the elevator into a more perfect position." I didn't do it, and was subsequently plagued by guilt. And so, it was after then that I kind of just stopped "spending time with God" and kind of just rested my heart and mind for the rest of the night. The scary thing, though, was (after all this had passed) I actually felt it was the *right* thing to do. And now, as I'm sitting here writing about all this, it was because I realized that I was indulging too much in God's authoritative side with my non-reality based subconscious coming out.
I am very very detached from the world, so I see reality in ways most people usually don't. So, upon introspection, I realize that God telling me to move the chair was a manifestation of my sinful subconscious making a link with God's authoritative side. I was being delusionally self-righteous.
Well, now that all this has passed, I know what to do next time - not to "rush it" with getting close to God. Just as getting close to a girlfriend or boyfriend too fast too early might spark some major problems, so it is the same with God. The reason for this is because some of our core beliefs are very far away from the actual Principles of Heaven, and we need to be careful not to let some of the harmful things we've been taught as children make a link, via indulgence, with God's authoritative side. In this case, we should very much be careful when following our self-righteous gut feelings. And we should alternate back and forth (or *around* as there are many aspects of God) in experiencing the many different facets of God, taking turns and giving each aspect equal and ample time along with the others.
Self-righteousness isn't one of those gifts.
Then does that mean when I spend time with God I should always doubt myself? Not at all either. Since the authoritative side of God is, in fact, a part of God, you shouldn't ignore it. What I'm saying is, you shouldn't *indulge* in it, as you'll get a very narrow picture of who God is, and you won't affect the people around you in a very positive way (more than likely). So here's what I suggest - alternate between these two "modes" when interacting with God: inquiring (i.e., introspection, questioning, rationalizing, reshaping your beliefs and views of God, etc) and believing (i.e., attaching God's command to an authoritative and self-righteous emotion, loving, feeling his love, knowing, being self-confident, etc). There is a different time for everything, as it states in the Bible. And I believe that there is a time to question and search for truth as much as there is a time to believe and feel like you should do the right thing.Going back and forth between these two modes will give you a healthy, balanced perspective of the world - and you'll definitely be much more effective when interacting with others.
Effects are what indicate roots. Fruits are what indicate the type of tree. In the Bible, it says that by your fruits you shall know them. Well, let me examine myself - just what *are* my fruits? The effects of my beliefs? Well, I know for one thing - especially lately - the effect that I've been having on the world has been close to zero (well, at least to my knowledge), or very far away from a huge chunk of what the Holy Spirit is really all about. It has been something much more sinister, and I believe that it has been because I've been indulging in God's authoritative side without giving time to experience his other qualities.
Just last night I discovered this.
Before last night, I've been spending brief periods of time talking to God. I mean, I've been listening to his smart and intellectual side speaking to me for quite a long time, but when it comes to me talking to him, conversations are usually short (albeit definitely not rare). But, over the past couple of days, I've been becoming increasingly more and more "fluent" with God, speaking to him more and more freely on a long term basis. And I must say, it has created quite a difference in my heart - a lot of positive changes have resulted and I am so excited!
However, last night I decided to do this longer than ever - maybe a little longer than I should have. And what ended up happening is me viewing the world as a place extremely saturated with Satan and his minions (which is true, but not the point as you shall see shortly). Somebody joked around with me about something that night, and I felt like he had a lot of darkness in his life and subsequently I got upset and angry - feeling hurt in the meantime. In addition, all the people I saw everyday mostly became very demonic in my eyes, and it appeared as if they were extremely far away from God.
When I got back to my room after taking the walk, I was thinking, "God, I just want to spend time with you and no one else." After that, everything else in the world became unimportant, including my previous hopes and dreams. I no longer wanted to do anything - work on my projects, write, etc. - but just talk with God and follow the thread of commands uttered from his mouth. I remember going outside to the alcove of my floor, and hearing "God" say to me, "Get up from your seat and move that chair by the elevator into a more perfect position." I didn't do it, and was subsequently plagued by guilt. And so, it was after then that I kind of just stopped "spending time with God" and kind of just rested my heart and mind for the rest of the night. The scary thing, though, was (after all this had passed) I actually felt it was the *right* thing to do. And now, as I'm sitting here writing about all this, it was because I realized that I was indulging too much in God's authoritative side with my non-reality based subconscious coming out.
I am very very detached from the world, so I see reality in ways most people usually don't. So, upon introspection, I realize that God telling me to move the chair was a manifestation of my sinful subconscious making a link with God's authoritative side. I was being delusionally self-righteous.
Well, now that all this has passed, I know what to do next time - not to "rush it" with getting close to God. Just as getting close to a girlfriend or boyfriend too fast too early might spark some major problems, so it is the same with God. The reason for this is because some of our core beliefs are very far away from the actual Principles of Heaven, and we need to be careful not to let some of the harmful things we've been taught as children make a link, via indulgence, with God's authoritative side. In this case, we should very much be careful when following our self-righteous gut feelings. And we should alternate back and forth (or *around* as there are many aspects of God) in experiencing the many different facets of God, taking turns and giving each aspect equal and ample time along with the others.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)