Hating the Sin and Not the Sinner

I've heard this phrase (given in the title) often said in many Christian debate circles, and often used as a defense phrase on many a blog's comment section; and I must say that I find this phrase used too often in vain, or as a cover-up for a hidden agenda or an unclean emotion.  Take, for example, blog posts or real-life arguments centered on homosexuality, a touchy subject in today's world.  (For this example, the arguers will both have claimed to be Christians and will each rely on Scripture to make their points.)  One of the biggest arguments is that we should "love everyone" -- since "God is love!"  The rebuttal for this argument is, usually, "I don't hate homosexuals, I hate their sin.  There's a difference."

However, the problem I find is that the owners of this proposition usually don't know anything about their homosexual neighbor, other than the fact that he's gay.  How can you not hate homosexuals, when all you see is their sin?  To hate their sin is to hate them, especially if you've labeled them "gay" and that's the only label you've given them.  Since all you see is their homosexual sin, in both their actions and in their words, how can you say the gay does anything else except be gay, and love that other part of them when that other part is a complete void?

Simply put, people who defensively throw back the "love the sinner but not the sin" argument in a heated debate are effectively lying to themselves.  Most, especially those who engage in these debates for the sole purpose of defending their own values and winning, hardly know anything about the gays they've labelled in their lifetime.  Some don't see the doctor in them, or the hard-working American citizen.  The only thing they see and know is the fact that they're gay.  When this type of person says "I hate their sin but I love them," what else is there to love after he's hated their sin?  He's basically hated almost everything he's labeled the person to be.  What else can he love about them, then, when the only thing he sees in them is what he hates?

Also, a side note.  I don't recall Jesus ever clarifying to anybody, "Hey, don't get me wrong -- I don't hate you, I hate your sin."  This is because Jesus was beaming with love, and it only took a brief glimpse at him or a slight hint of his presence for the people around him back in the day to automatically feel it.  Jesus didn't have to prove his love with words, because his life was his words.  He is love, and people really don't need clarification on that fact when they are in his presence.